Yesterday I ranted about Sears. Today I read this from my sorority sister, Debbie. I know we all can get stressed and be thankful for wonderful things. This is not meant to be a sob story. I am just so proud of my friend Debbie (by the way, Sooners, her husband is a die hard Sooner fan - born and raised in Arkansas). This is from their Caring Bridge website.
"September 3rd the dayone year ago that I took Adam to Dr. McNabb for his 3 year old Well Child Check-Up. (Adam was excited to see McNabb because Dr. McNabb is 'sweat to me') September 3rd, the day that has changed our lives forever.
I have such vivid memories:
* Dr. McNabb and every other Doc in the practice coming in to examine Adam
* Being told we need to go to Children's ER, they were expecting us
* Calling Mark at work, telling him to come home - but not telling him why
* The single tear down Alyson's face when she saw the CBC report McNabb sent with us to take to Children's
* The parade of Docs in the ER at Children's, each older than the last
* Being admitted for "tests" at 2:00am by a lovely nurse named Krystal
* The bone marrow aspiration, I was not strong enough to watch Adam through this, I curled up next to Mark's leg on the floor and cried
* Making the unthinkable phone calls to friends and family, Adam has cancer
It was real for me that day, something was amuch with my baby. I though it would be easier by now, I hoped we would be old hat at this and our abnormal, new normal would be easy. It was supposed to be easier by now. Don't get me wrong it is easier in some respects; no more middle of the night runs to Children's for fever, no more seriously ill child, no more intense everyday isolation. What has replaced those difficult times are now the semi-regular struggle to have Adam take whatever oral daily med, drug interactions, and the reality that his Friday chemo makes him feel horrible every weekend all weekend. We hurt for our baby because there isn't a thing we can do to make it better no matter how much we want to.
Those who have said that this world is a cold, cruel place don't know the world I live in. We have experienced so much giving and so much love over the last year. God has surrounded us with enough family, friens and medical professionals to support us through a very rough time in life. He has not let us down but equipped us to make this very difficult walk.
So today I declare my New Year. I have taken the day off from work and hope that Adam wakes fever free and feeling good so we can spend some quality time at the zoo with Grandma. Today truly brings about a new year that is more significant that the calendar year - a year of life. My New Year - New Life resolution is to cherish each moment as it is and not want for someting different. To cherish the fact that Adam wants me to hold and snuggle him rather than focus on the fact that the chemo makes him feel so rotten that he wants to be helf.
Here's to a New Year!
Debbie"
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2 comments:
My heart just breaks when I read about the struggles of children with such difficult illnesses. I've had a ballet student with leukemia and known several from our church who have also struggled with some form of cancer. The one thing that I see in each situation is the incredible grace that God pours out onto these families, often speaking faithfulness and gratitude through the very children with the disease. I have heard many families echo what your friend, Debbie, said about the outpouring of love and support and the hand of God at work the entire time. I earnestly pray that you and I and our children can be grateful for and appreciate every day that our families are healthy and strong. I ask for healthy bodies and healthy spirits. I will add your friend and little Adam to my prayers! And I will remember to begin each day with a grateful heart.
I am reading Debbie's site also. I got chills and was in tears reading that. And last night when Eston was screaming in the house and running around like he was on a sugar high, I stopped for a minute and said, "Thank goodness he is healthy enough to do that!"
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